A month or so before this i was out at a customer's house and diagnosed his very old heat pump with a severe and expensive problem. I told my service manager to give him quotes for both repair and changeout. Nothing much happened after he got it so service manager called to check.

Manager: "Hi this is <name> at <company>. You got a quote from us some time ago, have you made a decision?"

Customer: "Uh yeah that's right. I actually had it replaced by another company."

So nothing much, manager sent out the bill for the diagnose. Customer calls.

Customer: "Yeah this is <name>. I got a bill from you."

Manager: "Yeah that's right. It's for the diagnose."

Customer: "Yeah, well i see the tech wrote a full hour here."

Manager: "Yes that's correct."

Customer: "Well i clocked him and he was here exactly half an hour. I shouldn't be billed for more than that."

Manager: "Well that bill is for the trip out to your house too."

Customer: "Well i've driven many times between your company and here. It takes five minutes tops."

(It actually takes ten.)

Manager: "So that's another ten minutes for a round-trip, and we round off upwards."

Customer: "Well i never. I used to have my own company and i could never do that!"

Manager: "Well you won't get anywhere with me. If you want i can transfer you to my boss."

Customer: "Yeah, do exactly that."

So manager puts him on hold, rushes in to the boss to summarize the story and then transfers the call.

The customer tells him the whole story all over again and the boss gives him the same answer as the service manager did.

Customer: "Well i used to have my own company, and i could never do that!"

Boss: "Well what kind of company did you have?"

Customer: "Oh i was an estate agent."

Boss: "ESTATE AGENT?? You mean one of those people who drive around in new Mercedes' and BMWs?? Who'll bill you for just answering the phone??"

Customer (whimpering): "...You're the worst person i've ever spoken to in my life!" *click*

Boss, strolling into the service manager's office, posing a victory sign and a huge grin: "Yeeesss..."